Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
