I wish I only lived at night.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
