first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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