do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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