i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
