it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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