i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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