i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We are two peas in an std pod
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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