Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
