You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
