Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Randomize
