Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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