Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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