My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
