I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
