this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
