oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
