wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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