I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
