So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
