Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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