So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
