Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
