The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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