fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
