so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
