We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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