Pappa wants mamma naked
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
