she looked like the before picture.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
