Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
