She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My dick has a subreddit
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
