Me too!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
