i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Send help, water and tortillas.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
not ubering you a puppy
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
