yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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