honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
