do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize