i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
not ubering you a puppy
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
