I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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