piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
