I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
