Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize