if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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