I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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