wat bout pragnant strippers??
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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