so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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