We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
