i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
