i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
