You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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