Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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