Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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